Hollow Daze

Looking for a way out of here
Looking for the portal to go back
Looking for something that's not really clear
Looking for everything that I lack

Newton's Third Law

Feeling a bit bitter
Gave society the finger
As I pick up litter
Toxic odor continues to linger

Always a consequence for bad action
Violent collisions with hand or belt
Not fully understanding the reaction
You can bet I never forgot how it felt

Take two of these and down it with PBR
That will help you forget who you really are
You are not the only one with an invisible scar
Look at all the constellations, not just one lonely star

Nerve On Ya

Our minds decide if it was good or bad
Our hearts know if we've been had
Don't want to go through Life all sad
Cuz that's just a waste, an ill-conceived fad

Here is the confusion
Is the answer seclusion?
Our senses add to the illusion
Don't make this harder than nuclear fusion

Not only must we have the skills
To be able to pay the bills
We must perform all the drills
Before Death ultimately kills

Ice Man

Aching, breaking, feeling old
Shivering, quivering from the biting cold
Waiting for the envelope to unfold
Revealing the story I do not want told

Thank you, Daddy, for the tolerance for pain
Working blindly, seeing no gain
Daily rituals trying to remove the stain
Dead person walking, crying in the rain

What your eyes have seen, I shudder to think
I once believed your heart went down the sink
Your daddy beat you until you were pink
The horror you have seen, no wonder you drink

SUN

Spontaneous
Unconflicted
Natural

Solo
Uncovered
Nothing

Success
Undiscovered
Nameless

Comeback Dream

Often things are never quite what they seem,
No matter how often you plead or ask why.
Will I see you there in a comeback dream?
Your yearning hopes flow with a steady stream,
Down into a barren womb, long since dry.
Often things are never quite what they seem.
You find yourself in a tyrant's regime.
No more will you be dancing with the sky.
Will I see you there in a comeback dream?
There's no bright future of gold and gleam,
No crystal balls from which you scry,
For even those are never quite what they seem.
In places where you could've never foreseen
You wonder if you're chasing a lie,
A lie that will mangle your comeback dream.
You laugh at my grief, busting at the seams,
Fool, yet you never even dared to try.
Even though things are never quite what they seem,
At least I have myself a comeback dream.

From Lance Allred's Longshot

Unsolved Mystery

What the hell am I doing with my Life?

Unmasked

Every person you come across has a heart and soul, regardless of appearances.
The weathered man in the wheelchair, slurring his speech
"Eyee taherd ovv bein' unemmployed."
Gems are hidden for a reason.
We search for things we cannot see yet believe exist.
Why can't we find the gems in each other?

Why Not?

Why leave the comfort and safety of home?
Why roam into danger completely alone?

Why go out into the swirling wind and the cold?
Why do the opposite of what you are told?

How long have you been planning on climbing that wall?
Are you not afraid of a fatal fall?

I am very different and not very tall
There is more danger for me in not going at all

Souled Out

Disconnected from our surroundings

Fixated in acquiring lots of things

So much trauma and drama this brings

Spend time in nature until the spirit sings

Life is a majestic waterfall

For all Beings large and small

Even before the moment we are born

Gravity and Being are never torn

Slow down your pace, no need to rush

The rosebud will get its time to blush

Before we know it we grow angel wings

Just in time to perch and make soft landings

Nature is Dead

Gone are the dragonflies
No more chasing butterflies
Eerie silence in the woods
Gang bangers in the 'hoods
No more larvae for the birds
Nature uses all their turds
Can we undo what we did?
What is left for your kid?

Lost Chance

As my fingers slide over the frets
I pondered over any regrets
I wish I had kissed that boy who got rid of my frown
It was hard to accept when they told me he had drown

Rainbows Don't Last Forever

Endure the stormy weather

Things eventually come back together

Like veins bringing used blood back to the heart

You get a fresh breath after things fall apart

The Quantum Leap

Times of contemplation give me cause to vent
I keep reliving some horrible past event

How do I get out of this predicament?
Where is the fast forward button to the present moment?

Light is both a particle and a wave
Being a form and form-less is how I behave

Negative thoughts create parasitic emotion
In my body, it creates quite a commotion

To transcend all of Life's negativity
No need to fully understand the Theory of Relativity

Other dimensions allow for another reality
Other dimensions make it a possibility

Positive vibrations release creativity
Just find joy in all your activity

I wish I was as enlightened as His Holiness
The Dalai Lama professes interconnectedness

Heaven is not a destination but a realm of consciousness
It's more about the awakening than any amount of goodness

Instead of holding on, it is about the catch and release
In all this suffering we find lasting peace

Now it is time for restful sleep
For we have made the Quantum Leap

The Leap

I can hear myself scream
Falling, never landing, grasping at sunbeams
You have a choice
Said the Being without a voice
Drop your line in the pity parade
Take your spot on this crazy crusade
Not letting it show is stoic
Not facing up is not heroic
You will be haunted forever in troubled sleep
When you commit a failed attempt at the Leap

The Damned

Searching for the Truth is my motor to propel
I realize now that I have been living under a spell
Nearly everyone abandoned me when my reputation fell
It was as if I was emitting some nasty kind of smell
You were always painting pictures and lying to dispel
How many ugly secrets do you truly wish to quell?
Guilt is powerful and you felt the need to compel
The forensics test indicated shame in my every cell
I know it is my fault so go ahead and yell
I'm running late so do it before the last bell
I think I know why you told me not to tell
You were just afraid that I would die and go to hell

The Soft Side

I saw something the other day

That made me think I'm not as hard as I say

A little girl let out a squeal

After spying her dad who was to kneel

Running into her dad's open arms, no one could peel

Their embrace was genuine and REAL

Lump in throat, eyes brimming, don't want anyone to see

How this simple act completely unstitched me

The Other Dark Side

When people stop giving a darn
I look for this short, beautiful cairn
This marks a special place for me
Where I can pretend that I am Free

I want to get away from those who rant and rave
Do they even care about this Life they save?
Until I know that I can behave
I spend my time in this dark cave

Do people turn to crime because they were not loved enough?
Or is it a fragmented sequence in their DNA stuff?

I want to feel normal
My condition appears to be hormonal

Who are you to take a Life?
I really want to be over this strife
Does this story end with a knife?
I still yearn to be a happy wife

"We all have two sides," says my friend Steven
It just makes sense to be balanced and to be even

I am a hibernating bat who wants woken
I want fixed, just tired of feeling broken

I am the bat who drank the PBR
Where you cannot see a single star

Breaking the Cycle

He would not let anyone pet him but me
He did not like being tied to a tree
He would put his soft muzzle on my knee
He would lick my salty tears lovingly

To break the cycle was up to me
It would not matter if God heard my plea
I wanted all my worries to flee
He died when my baby was inside of me

I thought he was the only one who let me BE
But when our family became three
I found that my baby and me
Connected like me and Free

In memory of my dog, Freedom

Another Secret

No one in my family knows that I blog
Not even the cousins who live in smog
Life is a wheel not only one cog
I write about nature and kissing a frog
I will try to keep all my friends in a fog
And if they find out I will live in a log

The Other Stuff

I don't get involved
Especially with guys who have not evolved
Girls don't want to be treated like objects
I would rather be sendin' projects

After I reach my deadpoint
I clean up in the bathroom at Redpoint
I will never forget the nice guy at the shop
I told him a few things about my pop

He told me climbing on granite and basalt
Would help me deal with battery and assault

It would be hard to live with me
I have a bad case of OCD

I sleep alone in my car
To hide my invisible scar

What I really want is some one's protection
What I really crave is Island affection

For CG, the nice guy at the shop

Bad Day

To the first sorry hole
Who took a piece of my Soul
You are a work of art
Do you know how much you took apart?

I wish I could go ghetto all over your ass
Everything coming out of my mouth would be brass
But ingrained in me is act with class

Born of a liar and an alcoholic beater
Ironic that you've never met another girl that's sweeter
But if you lie to me or touch my knee
I will show you a different side of me

I learned long ago not to feel
The mind will distort what is real
Don't ever let it show
Cuz this is how you grow
Keep it all inside
I might as well take cyanide

I would not let you have that power
That is why I cry only in the shower

I go through Life like a thief
I am numb beyond belief
When I peed on a stick, I felt grief
If I died now, it would be a relief

Would I do the same to thee
Cuz the apple does not roll far from the tree?

This Road

He would not leave me
This guy I don't feel for
But then came a baby
Is this the time to show him the door?

I built these protective walls
Decorated them with bikes, boards, and volleyballs
I even remember dancing in the halls

After more that twenty years of keeping this pace
It appeared as if we were winning the race
But if you look close I needed some space

When our kids went out on their own
I found that I wanted to be all alone

I started going on solo trips with the car
That's when you find out who you are

Thinking about the road not taken causes anxiety
Maybe I should just give more to society

I don't know how this will end
But I no longer want to pretend

Deleted

I think I am in his delete pile
For I haven't heard from him in a long while
I won't let this cramp my style
I think the guy possessed too much bile

In my longing for a good mate
I pondered, squandered, and canceled a date
I don't think he intended to relate
Most likely it would have a ruinous fate

Should I feel incomplete
Cuz he chose to delete?
Amazing how this affects how I eat

Stuff

I'm a girl living under the Sun
Always looking for fun
No need for a gun
Just learn how to run!

Don't own anything by Prada
I only wear Prana
Cuz I want to be like Sharma
You know we all wanna

I am certifiable
That is undeniable
Sitting here on this ledge
Man, I'm really close to the edge

Don't want to be the one who misled
I'm just fighting hard not to be dead

Thanks CS and JC

Herstory

Every scar tells a story
Every story leaves a scar
Written on the Body
They remind us who we are

When I was a kid I loved looking at the sky
Searching for a comet
Just like you I couldn't guess why
My dad made me eat my own vomit

My big brada, he got it the worse
I would pray to God, "How do you get rid of this curse?"
Now that he has his own son
I really wish the cycle was done

My parents no doubt would appeal
That they were just doing their best
At least I know now how to deal
If you choose to molest

My temple is bruised and battered
My clothes old and tattered
But I won't let my dreams be shattered

All it takes is one more try
All it takes is one big break
Either learn how to fly
Or drown by the lake

Snowboy

The man at the Meadow told me he does not cry
I did not ask him, "Why, oh, why?"
For someone who comes on too strong
I felt that there was something wrong

The man at the Meadow likes to take pictures
Earthscapes or creatures?
A hidden agenda?
A girl named Brenda?

True beauty, grace, and strength lie beneath what the eye can see.

So I set him free
Let him be
Even though his Corazon is still in me.

Secrets

No one around
Engaging with the rock
Escaping from exploitations, violations
Broken promises, crooked world

You are what you are when nobody is looking.
Sobbing before
Sometimes after
Never during

Dark side
Pulling
Down
Hard

Cut. Burn. Pull. Beat. Why do I . . .?
Blades. Butts. Hair. Hand. How do I stop?

Seeking pain management from Mother Nature
To cope with invisible scars left by human nature

Slowly piecing my Soul back together
Searching for the Truth
Just want to feel whole

No one's gonna save me but me.

Thanks AV for pointing out that one's pain is always about another person's power.